Does Lust = Love? 😐

 

• As Christians, discussing the topic "Does Lust = Love" is best viewed from the perspective of the kingdom we belong to; otherwise, we risk misunderstanding and falling into error. This topic essentially becomes a battle of LOVE vs LUST.
• Do you agree?
• If you do, take a moment to reflect within yourself and ask: What motivates my heart in relationships, especially between the two genders created by God – Male and female?
• Is it Love? Lust? Loneliness? Peer pressure? What is the driving force behind forming friendships?
• While philosophers and moralists offer various definitions for Love and lust, let's turn to our manual, the Bible, to understand what it defines as Love & Lust. As young Christians, distinguishing between love and lust is crucial because the outcomes of these two emotions are vastly different. Though it's easy to confuse them, the Bible provides clarity on the distinction.
• There's a thin line between love and lust, and it takes the discernment of the Holy Spirit to recognize whether you are experiencing godly love or mere lust. While physical or sexual attraction is a natural instinct, it should not be confused with genuine 'Love.' So, how can we identify the difference between Love and lust? Let's explore ways to recognize and navigate the distinction.

WHAT IS LOVE?

The profound revelation about love is encapsulated in the statement: 'God is love' This implies that without personal knowledge of God, one hasn't truly experienced love and cannot genuinely exhibit it to others. Love goes beyond mere feelings or emotions towards someone, whether of the opposite or same sex. It surpasses affection, attraction, or fleeting emotions. While feelings may arise from liking someone's physical characteristics, behaviour, or attitude, these factors are insufficient to define the entirety of 'LOVE.'

 For instance, having a crush on someone due to their charisma doesn't equate to genuine love. The intense feelings or infatuation may fade, but the love God encourages us to show remains unwavering. The Bible delves deeply into the concept of love. According to Matthew 22:34-40, every command in the Bible emanates from love. It reveals the ultimate example of love in Jesus Christ, who took the punishment we deserved, laying down His life for our forgiveness.

In the absence of love, lust emerges. Without genuine love, lust quietly thrives within, eventually surfacing unexpectedly. This emphasizes the need to experience true love, which can only come from knowing Christ.

Consider this carefully:

• Love is NOT envious, boastful, proud (self-glorifying), rude, self-seeking, or easily angered. Love does not harbour grudges.

Instead:

• Love IS patient, kind, truthful, protective, always hopeful, and never fails even in challenging times. It perseveres with the other person, even when it's difficult and emotions may not align. In essence, love is other-person-centered. It involves putting the person you love first, sometimes even at your own expense. Self-centeredness and love are contradictory.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 fully outlines the fruits/qualities of love.

WHAT IS LUST?

The Bible also provides insights into Lust, a powerful force driven by self-centeredness and the desires of the flesh. Proverbs offers valuable guidance and is a must-read for every young Christian.

Additional passages shedding light on Lust include Matthew 5:27-30, Romans 1:18-32, and 2 Samuel 11. In the latter, the mighty King David's struggle with lust led him to break several commandments in a single day, emphasizing how lust disregards rules and laws to fulfill its desires.

It's crucial to understand that lust doesn't respect boundaries or regulations. Individuals who quickly engage in inappropriate behaviour may be succumbing to the influence of lust.

At the core of lust lies selfishness, disrespect, and a lack of self-control, traits that hold no value in the eyes of God. The sinful actions of King David vividly demonstrate that lust is inherently self-centred, prioritizing personal desires without considering the well-being of the person lusted after.

In a world filled with news, pressures, trends, advice, and temporary solutions, waiting until after marriage to engage in sexual relations requires discipline. As a teenager or youth, hormones may surge, but with the love of God within, demonstrating discipline becomes a core virtue.

WHAT THEN IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE TWO?

The key difference between love and lust lies in the "Attitude of your heart"

• In 'love,' the attitude of your heart is characterized by selflessness, where the focus is on the other person.

Conversely,

• In 'lust,' the attitude of your heart is marked by selfishness, with yourself as the primary focus.

God's selflessness in giving up His son serves as an example. Are you selfless in your relationships?

This distinction applies not only to opposite-sex relationships but also to friendships:

• In 'love,' a Godly desire drives you to provide, nurture, and care for the other person's needs.
• In 'lust,' an ungodly desire leads you to prioritize your own sinful passions.

Choosing to stay committed to someone, even when it's difficult, is a characteristic of 'love'. On the other hand, 'Lust' tends to give up or resort to manipulation to fulfill personal desires. Manipulation and love are in stark contradiction. If someone is a manipulator, it indicates a lack of genuine love. While love knows no bounds and fosters understanding, lust is often accompanied by continuous demands. Now that you understand the differences, the answer to the question "Does Love = Lust?" is a clear 'NO'

So, if you're questioning whether you're in love, ask yourself:

What is my heart attitude towards this person?
Am I willing to put in the effort, even when it's tough, or am I likely to give up when things get difficult?
Do I want to invest in this person, or is it solely about fulfilling my human/sexual desires?

The answers to these questions will indicate whether it's love or lust.

FAQs:

Is there such a thing as LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

• The term 'Love at first sight' refers more to a natural attraction based on a special feature. It's akin to emotions or hormones detecting something unique. A more accurate term would be 'Attraction at first sight.' Being attracted to someone doesn't necessarily mean being in love with them.